cool fuckin shit

Getting ready in the morning kinda sucks sometimes, you have to wake up even early to get ready for shit you dont want to do.  There are good and bad ways to get ready.  Along with getting ready comes cleaning clothes and washing things so you have stuff to keep wearing because the law says you have to be dressed somewhat in public, and no one likes stinky clothes with four loko spilled on them.

4. The Pool

The pool will get both you and your clothes clean at the same time, but you will smell like chlorine instead of smelly stuff.  Also, you will be wet for a long time, and if your in a rush you will show up wet to whatever event you have to go to that you dont want to go to.  So fuck that.

3. Car Wash

Taking the top down in the convertible is great if you realized you arent clean enough for that stupid meeting after you already left.  Go to the carwash and clean yourself, your clothes, and your car.  Downside is like the pool, you will still be wet and you may damage your leather interior if your not poor and have leather.

2. Febreze

When you just dont have time to do anything just spray yourself down with febreze.  You will atleast smell good, but if you need to wash your hair and shit you are SOL.

1. Tub and Hand Washed Clothes

Clearly the most efficient way to get yourself and your clothes clean is to take a tide bubble bath.  Throw your clothes in and wash them by hand, then hang them to dry when you finish getting ready.  This is obviously the best way to go about your day, but getting ready still sucks, but if you have to you should approach the problem like Amanda.  NUFF SAID

I dont know what it is, but here is a picture.  I lost the keys when I was drunk and the title accidentally got lit on fire when i was making ramen.  Will trade for a boat.  500 dollars OBO.  Will also trade for 4 loko if you have access to the black market.

Mileage: A good amount, its definatly broken in

Year: IDK i lost the title

Make: Ford

Model: Black

Color: It has a badass stripe on it

Transmission: IDK but you dont have to do shit so i guess automatic

HP: No fucking idea, I dont have horses to test with a tug a war

The question many people around the globe have been trying to figure out for as long as anyone can remember.  How to get over a cold quickly and effectively.  Many studies have been done and their are many home grown and commercial remedies for the common cold.  Colds suck so we want to get over them as quick as possible.  Lets go through a few ways to get rid of a cold.

#4.  Prayer

Prayer may not be the most common way to attempt to ditch the common cold, but it is indeed free.  Prayer and higher powers can help you get rid of a cold, but if you’ve been bad and can’t get to confession or whatever the equivalent is for your specific religion, then you may just be S.O.L.  No one wants to go to confession with a cold.

#3. The Movie Marathon

When people have colds they don’t want to do shit.  Watching movies is a great thing to do while in bed.  Maybe even having a glass of soup in help is a great idea.  Movie marathons help us get rest, the better the movie, the more likely it is you will get better fast.  So try to watch Back to the Future if you can because those movies are just fucking good.  Sometimes you just can’t stay home because you have lame work or class, so once again you are S.O.L.

#2. Drugs

Drugs always help colds.  Nyquil is by far the best, so if you buy anything, buy that jawn.  It’s delicious and the dose is equivalent to a shot glass.  It makes you pass the fuck out and you have the best sleep you’ve ever had with a cold…medicine.  But, drugs are expensive and shit so sometimes they still don’t work well enough.

#1. Alcohol

Everyone knows alcohol kills germs.  Germs giving you colds are no exception to the power of alcohol.  Most households always keep a steady supply of alcohol so you don’t have to worry about driving to the store to get it.  You can easily combine watching a movie marathon and taking alcoholic beverages to get over your cold extra fast.  Bottom line if you want to get rid of your cold, GET DRUNK. NUFF SAID. JAWNS

This just may be true.  A very serious study says that students who are on time to class generally do better in their classes.  Therefore, better transportation will lead you to do better in class.  Here are the top 4 modes of transportation used by college students to get to class.  So what is the optimal transportation to class.  Lets go through a few.

#4.  Shoes

Shoes are easily put on and generally everyone has them, but they just aren’t fast enough sometimes.

#3. The skateboard

Skateboards are fast and easy to carry.  But they are a death wish.  8 million college students every year are killed trying to get good grades by rushing to class on skateboards.  Simply just too darn dangerous

#2. The Power Wheel

Jeeps are fast and have lots of room to store all the books you will need for success.  They are fast AND safe unlike the skateboard.  Equip with front and side airbags and seat belts you are much safer.  The only downside is the battery life of the car.  You may have to travel across campus multiple times a day and with a dead battery, well you are just going to fail.

#1. The Big Wheel

Last but not least, the big wheel is the safest, fastest, and most reliable way for a college student to get to class.  With the power of your legs you’ll never run out of battery and get stranded.  Optional seat belts will keep you safe and they are just so dang fast.  This is the #1 way to get to class.  NUFF SAID.

If leather comes from cows and leather gets ruined in the rain, then why do cows not get ruined in the rain?  The cows aren’t like, “hey man,  let me in the barn dawg my skin is getting ruined.”

like wtf mate?